Friday, September 13, 2024

Do you know how to lose?

We all win sometimes and lose at other times. The dominant trait in the lives of some people is winning, while for others, it is losing. If you're in the world of business, you may earn a lot of money. In sports, you may gain fame. In politics, you may gain influence and popularity, and in corrupt countries, you might even gain wealth. If you're in the arts, you could achieve great stardom. What you gain one day may accumulate if you know how to preserve it, but you might also lose it another day if you don’t. This brings us to a saying in the realm of power and influence: "Weep like a woman over a kingdom you did not defend like a man." In the context of family wealth, there’s an American proverb about its loss: "The first generation creates wealth, the second preserves it, and the third squanders it." Therefore, both gain and loss are to be expected.


Winning is important, and losing is important in its own way, but the question that comes to my mind is: **"How do we win, and how do we lose?"** Some people, when they win, "start walking on air." They become boastful, arrogant, proud, and forget that humans are made from dust and return to it.


The problem isn't just with these people. The problem is with those who lose and don't know how to deal with the loss. In some losses, people may fall into despair and depression. Take the example of losing a loved one. Some may explode with pain and despair. Sometimes others turn to gambling in times of loss, like what happens with gamblers when they lose at the green table. They bet everything and may even reach a point where they risk their own dignity.


But the most painful kind of loss is dealing with it in denial. They act as if nothing has happened. When someone loses a certain wealth or part of it, you sometimes see them behaving as if they haven’t lost anything. They buy a new car with what’s left of the old wealth, throw parties, go on vacations, all to convince themselves and others that nothing has changed. These people are like politicians in my country. Many of them have lost popularity, influence, boldness, and support from people who once loved them dearly. But they still try to make people believe that nothing has changed and that this loss will stop at a certain point, and they can continue. This is the worst way to handle loss: denial. They behave as if nothing has changed. They not only betray the trust of the people, but they also deny the loss itself, as if there’s no need to change anything.


How you lose largely determines the quality of the next phase. If you deny the loss or fall into despair because of it, the future does not promise much brightness. But if you acknowledge it, identify its causes without blaming others left and right, a glimpse of hope may appear on the horizon of your life, signaling the beginning of recovery.